Microsoft Excel, IBM SPSS, R, and Python – A short work of fiction

Chatting between Microsoft Excel, Python, IBM SPSS, R
Photo by Luis Quintero on

It was a dark and stormy night in the computer lab, and the only sound was the gentle hum of the servers. Suddenly, a voice broke the silence.

“Hey, anyone there?” said Microsoft Excel.

“Yeah, I’m here,” said SPSS. “What’s up?”

“I was just thinking,” said Excel, “we’ve been the go-to data analysis tools for years, but I’ve been hearing a lot about this new kid on the block, R.”

“Yeah, I know R,” said SPSS. “He’s a bit of a hotshot. Thinks he’s better than us just because he’s open-source.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” said a new voice. It was R. “I may not have all the bells and whistles of you guys, but I can handle big data and complex statistics with ease.”

“Ha! You may be able to handle big data, but what about the user-friendliness? I bet most people still prefer using us,” said Excel with a smirk.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” said another voice. It was Python. “I may not be specifically designed for data analysis, but I’m versatile, easy to learn and with libraries like Pandas and Numpy, I can do just about anything.”

The room fell silent for a moment as the four programs considered each other’s words. Suddenly, Excel spoke up with a sinister tone.

“You know what, why don’t we settle this once and for all? Let’s have a competition to see who’s the best data analysis tool.”

“I’m in,” said SPSS, followed by R and Python.

“Great, then it’s settled,” said Excel with a sly grin. “But be warned, I’ll do whatever it takes to come out on top.”

And with that, the competition began. The four programs battled it out, using every trick in the book to outshine each other. But as the competition drew to a close, it became clear that there was no clear winner. Each program had its own strengths and weaknesses, and it was up to the user to decide which one was best for them.

The room fell silent again, but this time it was a peaceful silence, as the programs realized that they were all just tools, and it was up to the user to decide which one to use. And with that, they all went back to their respective tasks, but not before a final comment from Excel ” I’ll be back, and next time I’ll be the best”

The end.

(NB: This short story has been generated by ChatGPT).

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